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Managing the stress of buying a home for couples

If you’re about to start looking for a home, make sure you read this now. But also read it after you’ve viewed your first three to five homes. Buying a home can be a fun experience and though there may be challenges looming, preparing for them can make all the difference in your overall experience.

Of all the stresses you’ll experience in life, buying a home usually impacts many in the top five. It has an enormous impact on your relationships, finances, safety / security and your living / moving situation. With all these types of stress, people can become fixated on the emotional situations deriving from choosing your new home.

To help you view your decision more objectively, I’ve compiled some tips below to help you as we look at the various aspects of each home that you tour with me. They should also help you to recognize what’s going on. This doesn’t have to be a stressful situation, so let me help remove some of that worry and concern.

• Know exactly how much you want to pay per month to live in your home. Make sure that you have discretionary funds left so that your quality of life doesn’t suffer as a result of your purchase. Make sure that this number is pretty solid and that you and your partner have agreed to it.
• Timing is key. Knowing when your lease ends or when you want to sell and how quickly you want to turn-around and purchase another home will help not only in your search, but in terms of ensuring a smooth seamless transition.
• Evaluate each home and rate it on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being that you couldn’t live there and 10 being that you MUST write an offer on this home. Compare your numbers with your spouse’s to ensure that you’re both in love with the home that you write an offer on. If necessary you can even break down the number to ratings for investment, safety/security, landscaping or any other category that’s important to you both. If necessary, talk to your spouse and average your numbers with theirs. Your averages may surprise you both!
• Choose an area that has a significant meaning for both you and your spouse. That may mean that you both have roughly the same commute to work or it may be an area near a park where you fell in love.
• Recognize that differences of opinion will come up during your home search and be prepared to compromise. Flexibility will help you to both be happier.
• When you sit down with your partner to discuss the various aspects of the homes we’ve viewed, consider other possibilities. Right now is a great time as there’s a lot of inventory in the market. If there’s nothing that you both love, let’s keep searching.
• If your numbers reveal that you’ve both scored the same two or three houses at the same rate for all aspects and you’re having difficulty choosing between them as to which one you’d like to write an offer on, call me and we’ll discuss it. Let’s look at it from different standpoints.
• Be prepared to walk away. From every home for any reason.
• If, after considering all the key points above, you’re still stressed out about the idea of purchasing a home, find something to do on your own for a while that will afford you an escape. Whether it’s reading a book or going for a walk. Encourage your partner to do the same. When you’re both calmer, go and spend some time together watching a movie, going to dinner or something that doesn’t involve talking about the house.

Remember, there will always be more houses that you’ll love and can afford coming on the market. It’s typically a much shorter and easier process than the one you went through with your partner to get to this point.